dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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