It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
