oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
