If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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