nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
