we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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