i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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