You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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