Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
