I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
