she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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