using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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