well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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