just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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