she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
His nipple licking is glorious
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