trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Houston, we have a squirter
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Drake has all the answers
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
