I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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