I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
