why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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