I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
