I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
