I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
