I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Your penis caused this!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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