Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
