thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
