i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
