She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You're like the curious george of whores
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
