I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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