Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
