Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
