just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
