dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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