They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
