Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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