i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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