she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
These tits shall not be calmed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
