True but thats because hes a fetus.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
