yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.