Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill

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  (832): I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill http://tfl.nu/19kp
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (2230)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!

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  (513): I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty. (937): Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet! http://tfl.nu/8hnt
  Replies (19) Good night (4478) Bad night (665)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope

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  (214): I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited (1-214): I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope http://tfl.nu/jd28
  Replies (93) Good night (1618) Bad night (7599)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he just came in and straightened the chair and left again

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  (905): he just came in and straightened the chair and left again http://tfl.nu/sy2j
  Replies (4) Good night (2591) Bad night (932)
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  (510): View more from California

  according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"

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  (510): according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins" http://tfl.nu/7zd1
  Replies (5) Good night (4312) Bad night (1027)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes

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  (586): Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes http://tfl.nu/g7it
  Replies (3) Good night (2134) Bad night (1003)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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  (613): No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/2rsl
  Replies (6) Good night (1721) Bad night (1234)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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  (+44): Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked. http://tfl.nu/926l
  Replies (11) Good night (1218) Bad night (2107)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1

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  (231): I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1 http://tfl.nu/tow3
  Replies (7) Good night (1297) Bad night (929)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.

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  (703): just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail. http://tfl.nu/7539
  Replies (6) Good night (1899) Bad night (834)
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  (310): View more from California

  Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5

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  (310): Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5 http://tfl.nu/knlc
  Replies (2) Good night (1380) Bad night (768)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship

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  (717): Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship http://tfl.nu/uea0
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (1160)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.

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  (325): She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin. http://tfl.nu/rsir
  Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (539)
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  (310): View more from California

  note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.

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  (310): note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning. http://tfl.nu/m5nc
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (673)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.

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  (309): All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk. http://tfl.nu/b2p3
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (396)

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