In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.