i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked