At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
