just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize