I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I know her cup size but not her name....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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