so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
someone owes me an orgasm
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
