we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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