this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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