it wasn't lemon gatorade
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
