Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A+ Viking dick
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
