we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
