the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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