My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
