We won't sleep together?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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