did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
