Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize