It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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