yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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