your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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