I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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