no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
