what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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