Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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