I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
