Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need to sanitize my soul.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
