I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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