The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need water and some morals
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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