I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
